Ask anyone you know, and they’ll tell you that getting back together with your ex is a terrible idea. But that didn’t stop me from giving a relationship with my ex-boyfriend another shot. Some might call me crazy, but this is why it’s actually working out well so far:
We’ve both grown up. We were young and inexperienced when we attempted to date the first time. Neither of us knew what we were doing, and we both made some mistakes. Now that we’re older, we know what we want and what we don’t want. We’re also a lot better at communicating, which is half the battle of making a relationship work.
The timing is a lot better. Neither of us was exactly ready to settle down the first time we dated. It was also long-distance, and I was still in school. There were a lot of factors working against us back then, but now, we live closer together and our lives are stable. We actually might have a chance this time.
We actually did move on. After ending it the first time around, we really did part ways. We weren’t hung up on each other thinking we’d one day figure things out. We dated other people and actually didn’t even talk for a couple years. Somehow we ended up back in each other’s lives, so it’s kind of like we’ve started a brand new relationship.
We’re both on our best behavior. The beginning of any relationship is always the easiest part. We haven’t started to get on each other’s nerves, and we like spending lots of time together. But the fact that we already know each other pretty well should help make easing into the comfortable phase of the relationship a little more natural.
We’ve both seen what else is out there. We’ve both done the “dating around” thing as well as the “” thing. We know what our options are and what we could have together. Dating isn’t exactly a walk in the park, and no relationship is easy. This time, we know what we have to work on, so there aren’t going to be any big surprises like there would be with new people.
We accept that we’ll have to work to trust each other. Sometimes, truly leaving the past in the past is easier said than done. We can say we’re not going to bring up old issues, but the truth is that they still exist and are a part of our story. With a new person, there’s no reason not to trust them, but with an ex, all that good history has to come with a little bad too. The good thing is that we both accept it and are willing to work through it together.
I’d regret it if I didn’t give it another try. Even if it doesn’t work out, I still think giving it one more shot was the right choice. If I didn’t, I’d always wonder why we ended up in a place where it was actually an option. I’d rather try something and know for sure than not try and always wonder “what if?”
We didn’t rush into it. It’s not like we met for coffee one day and decided right then and there to give it another go. We slowly started talking more, spent some time together, and realized going on a date here and there didn’t have to be a big deal. Then, it naturally evolved from there. We’re still moving at our own pace and not putting too much pressure on things to go a certain way. It’ll work out the way it’s supposed to.
We know that relationships are complicated. I never expected to take the easy road to find love. It would have been nice, I guess, but I never assumed the perfect guy was going to knock on my door without a little effort on my part. I don’t mind that our relationship has been a little messy before now — that just makes it more interesting.
We’re in it together. We decided together to try again. There was no coercion, and neither of us was only half into the idea. We both want to see where this goes, and we’re the only ones that have a say. Other people might think it’s a bad idea, but they aren’t the ones in this relationship. We’re taking their opinions with a grain of salt and following our hearts.
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